I didn't mean to. I was actually enjoying this as a space to think. But, I notice that it's been nearly two months since I last said anything.
I think that I've been overwhelmed with life and with trying to figure out what the right balance is in my current parenting 'job'.
I mean, I have a bunch of skills that I could use to improve his success. But, I don't think that using those skills will really help him in the long run. So, I'm trying to step back and let failure happen. But, I can't help but notice the mini failures -- and the impact they have on me -- and want to start fixing them.
I'm growing used to his presence. That feels a bit odd to say, but, it's a bit weird to go from being an adult and pet only home with lots of visitors (of the human and furred varieties) to being a home with a teenager who is an extrovert that doesn't leave the house. So, for awhile it seemed overwhelming to constantly have to engage with someone who wasn't usually all that pleasant. I kept walking away and hiding in my room.
Now I'm doing a better job of expecting his presence. I still treasure the moments when my house is quiet for an hour or so, but, I don't expect it to be that way. My expectation for my home is that it will be a stressful environment and I remind myself that that is okay.
I still question how he'll survive when he's living on his own and doesn't have a trapped audience. But, that is just one more thing that I should let go of. I can't fix it, so, I'll need to let him fail or succeed on his own.