Okay, now it has been nearly a year.
B has moved out and is on his own. He is doing reasonably. He's flunked out of school and lost a few jobs. But, he still has a place to live and is still receiving some supports. He gets in contact periodically and he hasn't dumped everyone who cares about him.
So, I think we were successful. We taught him a lot and provided a safe place to practice growing and failing without the consequences being quite as bad as in the "real world". He has still got a lot to learn, but, hopefully he's on a functional track to that learning.
I'm left thinking that there is a great need within the foster care system for families willing to take on youth in B's position. As it is we tend to say, "now that you are 18 (or even 16) (or, now that you have graduated from high school) you are ready to be on your own." Most youth don't strike out on their own without support, so, why do we think that youth who have had a rough life, with insufficient support at some point, are ready to do it?
Unfortunately, we probably won't do that same job for at least a few years. So, I hope that someone else steps up for the next youth.
We have been blessed with a baby and are on hold as a foster family until we adapt. Once ready for the extra work we will resume fostering. But, we will need to be pickier about which kids we take until the baby is old enough to understand safety discussions.